Moving on Sunday

You can read one or a dozen of self help books like 'He's Just Not That Into You' or 'He is such a sorry (fucking) jackass.'.
You can laugh at some parts, cry or tear at some, feel righteously angry at some more parts, motivated to pick up the good advices along the lines and try move on.

But it is not an instantaneous thing, it won't be.
The point of moving on being a gradual thing would have mean there are alot (more) days that I would cry, feel sad and lonely, miss you, wanted to kill you or more of myself as the matter of fact, living my life like a robot etc.

It is that difficult & really torturous and I really hope I won't have to do it for the rest of my life,ever. That I meant, moving on from a bad relationship.

Alot of times I wish it hasn't turned up this way. Why is it getting worse between me and Jason all the time when this breakup wasn't meant to be for that.
But what's the point of me asking the walls, asking the skies, asking the air, asking myself when a relationship is about 2 persons working on it.
It's not about me and myself, not me and the concrete walls, not me and the blue to dark sky, not me and the invisible air!
If Jason can't work his ass, CAN'T BE BOTHERED to even try to help this relationship, why am I torturing myself over it?

I know the thing is...Sometimes I can't help it. I am always still hoping, keeping that little flame somewhere in my heart.
Even though now that I read and actually know it inside that he's is not that into me already, still doesn't help me to distinguish that small little flame.

I know this whole thing sounds stupid but what I am trying to say is , other than YOU SUCK!!!, I am not having an easy time as it seems.

Thank God that I have a bunch of nice girlfriends who are always supportive, and a few more whom I know are behind me all the time.
Thank God that I am not a born depressionalist. Emotional yes, depressionalist no. Big difference, mind you.
Thank God that I still love myself.
Thank God that (even if any of you disagree) I am still somewhat attractive to the eyes of some guys.

There are guys who wanna know me, guys who wanna ask for my name and number from the streets(Not kidding. I know you don't believe that and I find it weird myself too.), guys whose hands lingered around me(that I hate!) on the dancefloor. (*Disclaimer:I am not too proud of that but as a matter of just fact...If you are not attractive, would guys wanna touch you?).

And I have a guy who can show me that he is now really into me. Ok, maybe I can't add the word 'Really' but he is into me.
Period.

All these are pushing me to just move forward in life. (Ok...I know I elaborated too much about the guys part. Un-necessary information.)

I am picking up my French course. I am planning to go Cambodia with my girlfriends. I may be planning a few more things soon.
I am moving forward in life and I don't think I am doing a bad job. I hope this makes you (Jason) happy cos' this is what you want me to do and you would feel less guilty.
However even if I am NOT doing a good job about moving on, you wouldn't do anything anyway. I know. - shrug-

Of cos' that doesn't mean that I am smiling every single day, pushing my limit everyday. I am still hoping, still crying, still angry, still cursing, still sad. But I am also moving on.
One day you might not see me anymore and with all of your doings, I hope this is what you wanna see. You won't hear me or see me writing anything bad or good about you anymore.

I know this still sounds bitter but which part of moving on in the above paragraph did you not understand?
If you still don't, I suggest you stop reading my chunky post and proceed below.

Picture post:

This is taken from New Asia Bar, when I was there with Yan & Reen on Wednesday.

You may find it pretty but I find it really boring. City lightings doesn't excite me that much.

Had breakfast @ Mama Bakery with Vonx & Krist today.

On the way saw this vintage cars display in my primary school.

Mama Bakery @ Square 2,Novena.

Japanese bread own by really friendly and polite Japanese ladies. You have to look & act kawaii too.

I hear SW vomitting and rolling his eyes (Krist's joke about rolling eye upwards is really joke of the day.) Kidding, I looked like a drag without makeup this morning. Had a shock when I saw myself in the mirror and quickly rushed outta the toilet.

Quite a nice place for some very nice bread. However do not even think of trying to be healthy and order orange juice. I forced myself to finish that cos' it costs me bloody $2.80 a glass.

You can't miss that place cos' it's not possible not to be swoon over by their breads' aroma once you walk past.

A nice place for a breakfast session when the breads are freshly baked with friends, with your partner or just yourself and a book. =)

Our breads put together.
A good chance I would go there again, even if it means waking up early on a Sunday to go Novena. (Provided I am not dead by Saturday.)

That's all I would share for this week. If you bother reading all the time, thank you for that.

I should continue to bury myself in the books I borrowed. Oh, I've been to Bishan library (like finally) and I like it.

Meanwhile...Just keep listening to Leona Lewis 'Better in Time'. This is so about me now.

Roarr!

I know, I just have to put my picture. Why, cannot meh?